Good Woman Transforms Outlaw, Part 2 – Influence

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

If we want healthy relationships:

  • We have to guard against fantasies about a man’s “noble” nature that run counter to objective evidence.
  • We have to avoid mistaking surliness on a man’s part for emotional depth and complexity.

Simple, right?  As if relationships were ever simple…

Influence

This brings us to the crux of the matter, and perhaps the most compelling reason misguided thinking about relationships holds women in thrall.

By changing a man, we are demonstrating our power as women. The “civilizing influence” of the female gender is made manifest. Heady stuff, indeed.

By changing – or at least trying to change – a man, we get to exercise power without stepping outside the female stereotype. This is “Beauty and the Beast” with Beauty in charge.

Women may cling to a belief in their ability to change a man in the face of all reason – in the face of…

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