I would like to go back to not knowing about abuse, complex trauma and abusers.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Life was actually easier when I just assumed I deserved everything I have been inflicted with.

It was actually easier to blame myself, than to understand I never deserved it, and the reasons why I have been attracted to unhealthy, disordered people.

I know so much, and it’s too fucking late.

I don’t want my eyes opened, I would rather be blind and not understand and just believe I deserve it, like everyone always told me.

Just believe I am bad girl, who doesn’t deserve love, doesn’t deserve to be treated well, or with respect.

Just believe all I do deserve is lies, abuse, manipulation, disrespect etc….. that would serve me well to think this, right now.

I want to rewind the last 3 years, and not know all I know now.

Just tolerate abuse, lies, manipulation, disrespect, not being loved and feel deep shame for knowing/believing I deserve it.

That was…

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