As a child, I used classical music to help cope with my emotions, to deal with being suicidal.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I was an unusual child. I had an unusual childhood.

I dreamt abut this last night.

I had a Richard Clayderman album and I played certain tracks, to death. I used music and ballet, to cope with all the abuse, all the neglect and the painful emotions I felt and couldn’t talk to anyone about.

Richard_Clayderman1982

I still cannot listen to his music, without feeling how I did then. But, I accept fully, the girl I was in my childhood, is part of who I am, and I feel sadness, grieving and sorrow for her. For me.

Grieving is part of my journey and I don’t know how long that will take.

This track makes me sob. I know I listened to this, at the time of my first suicide attempt, as a teenager. Because when I listen to this, I get intrusive memories of being suicidal and taking my mothers…

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